[ Magic Item ] Helmet of the Ridiculous

"Get rid of that ridiculous helmet Verngrath!"  Voleng the cleric, looked back at Verngrath, barely dodging the blow of the zombie.  "NOW!"

With a swing of his sword, Verngrath lopped off the zombie's arm that he was fighting.  "Why?"

Praying to his god, Voleng extended his hands, a brilliant light bathing the zombie, which soon was shrieking in pain, and retreating.  "Because you buffoon, it causes us no end of troubles!"

The Helmet of the Ridiculous is a rather normal looking helmet. Dented, pinged, scratched, and covered in odd decorations, this magical helmet provides a +2 to a character's armor class.  Unfortunately, it's also... ridiculous.  Legend says that the helmet was once in a notorious dragon's treasure horde.  Once the dragon learned of it's nature, it was dropped into a nearby ocean.  How it made it back to land is unknown. Only one Helmet of the Ridiculous is known to exist.

Once an hour ( game time ) not real time, the gamemaster should roll on the following chart.  This happens every hour on the hour.  Whether it's being worn or not...

1. The helmet emits a loud shriek, and likely attracts wandering monsters.

2. Fireworks start shooting at the top of the helmet and continues for five minutes.

3. The helmet causes the character wearing it to dance a jig for 10 minutes unless the character makes a saving throw versus magic.  If successful the character instead has a headache for five minutes, and is at -1 to all activities.

4. A thick, black smoke starts spewing out of two small holes on the side of the helmet.  This continues for five minutes.  In close quarters this causes plenty of problems.

5. For the next eight hours whenever the character is near a piece of metal larger in volume than two cubic inches, a lightning bolt arcs from the top of the helmet to the nearest metal ( not the character wearing the helmet ).  Ouch for a nearby friend wearing armor or wielding a metal weapon.

6. The helmet starts spraying spider webbing out of hole that appears on the back of the helmet.  Woe to any character behind the helmet.  Sticky mess...

7. A small crystal appears on the top of the helmet and starts flashing in several bright colors.

8. The helmet teleports to a different person, monster, or animal that is within 30' of it.  Once it teleports, another roll is made on this chart.

Gamemasters are encouraged to create their own tables for the helmet.

For some odd reason, most characters want to keep the magic helmet. It must be forcible taken from them, and a savings throw versus magic must be made.  Once this is done, the character realizes that the helmet was indeed... ridiculous.