Tuesday, April 26, 2011

the State of Zanazaz Address

It's time for a State of Zanazaz Address...

Well, last Friday was my birthday, or more accurately the anniversary of my birth.  Why did people start calling it "birthday"?  Technically you only have the one birthday.  I guess it's easier just to say birthday, than Happy Birthday Anniversary!  A year later and it's the anniversary of that date, and depending on your culture and/or religion, you and hopefully your friends and loved ones will celebrate.  I guess I'm rambling, but to get to the point; I decided to take Friday off from blogging, which turned into the weekend off, and then Monday.  ( I started writing this yesterday, but didn't finish. )  Which is fine, because I had nothing much to say gaming wise.

There are some gaming blogs I really enjoy, and destination unknown is one of them.  Christian's recent post is a great one where he talks about an old friend, and makes a point about how the bonds between friends who game is strong.  In my twenties and thirties, most of my friends were the ones I gamed with.  With a couple of exceptions I've either lost contact with most of those friends, or they don't game anymore because life has just moved on for them.  Since my sister passed away, I've been a bit reclusive, and that needs to change.

I think in the coming weeks my blogging may or may not be as frequent as it was before my sister went into the hospital.  It's not that I don't want to blog, I just realise that I need to get busy with producing some material; so that when I do get to run a game, I'll be ready.

When I announced my hiatus, I mentioned that I had some decisions to make.  Well, I'm still contemplating those decisions.  For the last couple of years I spent a lot of time helping my mom take care of my sister.  It really was a two person job, and my mom didn't have the strength to lift her in and out of her chair all the time.  I didn't work much and I lived fairly frugally.  The way the economy was and still is, I was between jobs anyway, so I made sacrifices and helped her out.  Plus, I got to spend a lot more time with my sister for which I am now thankful.

Now, I know I need to move on, decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.  The thing is I'm having trouble deciding, and that's never happened before.  I know I need to get back to work, or generate some income in some fashion to finance my decision.  ( I also need my own place again. )  I also sold my truck, but that's no big deal to me, because the mass transit system here is fairly good, but being without my own transportation still causes some problems for me.

I also need to raise some cash, because mom told me that my sister's grave doesn't have a headstone.  Now, I thought that was covered, but apparently I wasn't paying attention, and I feel bad about that.  Here's a lesson for everyone that's reading this, no matter what your age is, PREPARE.  It's better to prepare a little over a long period of time, than all at once.  What little life insurance my mom had on my sister didn't cover everything, and it certainly wasn't inexpensive.  I know it's not a great topic, but I feel it's something people should think about.  So I need to get some money together for a headstone, and that means getting back to work ASAP.  I occasionally do day labor because it's fairly flexible, but my back isn't what it used to be, and the last time I went I was flat on my back for about a week, which didn't help things much.  Sorry, I'm rambling again...

Decisions, decisions, decisions, sometimes I feel like I'm a bug trapped in amber, still alive, just unable to move, and I want to move!  I've got a lot of life left, and need to shake this off.  Life is the biggest game of all, and I want to be a player again.

My next post will definitely be about gaming.  Thanks for your patience if you've read this far...


  1. roll 3d6, 6 times, and apply as rolled.

    Congrats, you are now a player again. :)

    Good to have you back, Zan

  2. I agree on the preparation. I have, like, three life insurance policies out on myself for my wife just in case.

    Thanks for the shout out. I sometimes worry that I communicate best with gamers and struggle to connect with everyone else outside of the tribe. My wife thinks I have some bizarre nerd social anxiety disorder or something.

    I wish you luck with your quest for a new beginning!

  3. Talking about life-insurance can be grim, but some allow you to invest in them at the same time.
    You are probably going to be in the red for awhile.
    Try not to get to frustrated or in a funk; take solace in the hobbies.

  4. As one of my mentors, who is now unfortunately passed, used to say: "Time takes time." Which may not seem particularly cogent at first, but I think what he meant was give yourself time to let things work out on their own.

    Grieve, work, game--and blog--all in good time.